Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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