Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Still dying that you shit outside
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
