Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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