You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
