why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
