Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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