And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
