is your mom at the bar?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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