One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
