Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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