I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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