he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I deserve this hangover.
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