I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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