I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
