She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
