i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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