can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
