the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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