Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
