I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
