you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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