i think my tv is drunk
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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