when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
