I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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