You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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