like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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