Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
