Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We left the knife in your bed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
