Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
