I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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