My friends, they love my intelligence
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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