Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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