Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
