I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
