Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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