I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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