Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
