Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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