Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
