Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
