omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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