Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
