The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
