What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
