hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
