My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
