I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
