Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
