The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
