hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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