Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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